______________________________ | ___ _______ ___ | | / _ \/ __/ _ \/ _ \ | | / // / _// , _/ ___/ | | /____/___/_/|_/_/ | | | | PROUDLY | | ....PRESENTS.... | | | | ...THE HAUS SHOW REPORT... | | VOLUME 6 | | | | DATE: Sep 2st, 2011 | | WRITTEN BY: Tyler Terrapin | |____________________________| With it being kick off weekend for high school football in the Greater Pittsburgh area, along with night two of the annual rib fest at Heinz Field, complete with a _FREE_ Clarks show, it was truly amazing that ANYONE showed up at the DERP Arena Friday night... let eight hundred crazy, screaming maniacs!!! The best part of it all was the wide array of colors in the audience, thanks to the DERPaholics purchasing the shirts of their favorite wrestlers! And there's even a few signs beginning to appear! One reads "JUAN VASQUEZ AND NINJA FREE SINCE CONCEPTION", another reads "STEVE JOBS FEARS DERP!"! The crowd begins to file their way in right about 6:30, 6:45, knowing DERP's tendency to actually start things on time. And tonight Delaney musta' felt like the fans deserved some entertainment as they filed into the arena, because the DERP projectors fired up before seats were even a third full... *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [The shot takes us into the back, where the now TWO TIME DERP 24/7 CHAMPION Bullzeye is busy taking a drink out of a water fountain. The camera shots one of those voyeur deals, where Bullzeye's being filmed without him noticing. This can only mean one thing.... SOMEONE'S ALREADY TRYING TO GET HIS GOLD!!!! Bullzeye finishes taking his drink, and wonders down the hallway... as all of a sudden he gets rushed by... "NUTS" BALONEY!!! The DART~! student is again ona rampage, connecting with brutal chair shots. He finally drops the chair to the ground.... DDT~! He hooks the leg! A ref appears out of no where to make the count!] 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP!!!! NUTS: Are you fucking serious!?!?! ["Nuts" looks enraged, as he pulls Bullzeye to his feet... who starts fighting back right away! He gives "Nuts" a few elbow shots, before leaping.. and grabs "Nut" by the head.... JUMPING DDT ON THAT CHAIR!] BULLZEYE: Fucking _KIDS_! [Bullzeye grabs his title strap, and wonders off, as the camera zooms in on "Nuts" face, his eyes rolling back into his head...as the screen fades, only to begin playing all sorts of Steeler highlights.] VOICE: Are you for some _FOOTBALL_!?!? [More Steeler highlights. Harrison beating people up. Polamaulu intercepting passes and running them back. Mendenhall breaking off runs for megayards. Ward catching touchdown, Ben throwing them.] VOICE: Are you ready for some... _FANTASY FOOTBALL!?!? [The highlights continue, featuring some of the big super plays. Parker's 75 yard run. Randel El's TD pass to Ward. Harrison's 100 yard return. Santonio's incredible catch.] VOICE; Well, lucky for you... DERP HAS THE ANSWER!!!! [The highlights go into hyper speed, before stopping on a Steeler logo.... and then Delaney steps out from screen right, dressed in a Heath Miller throwback Steeler jersey, smile plastered across his face.] DELANEY: You see, folks.. DERP has it's _OWN_ fantasy league! That's right! And anyone of you can sign up to play along with your favorite DERP superstars... including myself! [Nods.] DELANEY: The league is set up on Yahoo, with the league ID number being: 260234 and the password is... derp! The LIVE DRAFT will be held on Sept 6th at 10 PM EST!!! [Chuckles.] DELANEY: And to add some _EXTRA_ incentive... IF a fan wins the league, they can pick a _DERP DREAM MATCH_... and if a _WRESTLER_ wins.. They can demand a title shot against _ANY_ DERP champion they want! [Fade...] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Delaney must be really pumped about the DERP fantasy football league, having now shilled it now in consecutive weeks. Or he's just living up to reputation as "Shillmaster"... Either way, as the fans seemed to finally have made their way into the arena, as "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails hits, marking the entrance of the Weapons of Ass Destruction, Taelor Cole and Leslie Jackson. The fans instantly give them hell, trying to cover them as in much garbage as they can muster this early in the show. Next out would be the Merry Pranksters, coming to the ring with the Pink Floyd classic "Bike" blaring out over the PA system. Captain Trips in the red and blue tye-dye; Reddy Kilowatt in the black and blue. The two receive a moderate round of applause, and they're certainly able to get a few high fives and handshakes as they approach the ring. Then last, but certainly not least... MC Frontalot's "Final Boss" plays over the PA system as the crowd begins to laugh and cheer mighty loud, as the hapless duo known as The Nerd Power Collective walk out to the ring. Player 1 is clapping his hands and cheering to the audience. Player 2 just slowly walks, head down and shoulders slumped forward. After a short time, both men roll into the ring, the fans still going nuts! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! N-P-C! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | LOSER GETS FIRED!!! | | | | NERD POWER COLLECTIVE | | vs | | WEAPONS OF ASS DESTRUCTION | | vs. | | THE MERRY PRANKSTERES | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Taelor Cole and Leslie Jackson never seem to give a thought about starting off in this match, as they never actually enter the ring. Player One volunteers himself, probably high off the fans love, as Player Two gives him words of encouragement before he exits the ring. Captain Trips and Reddy Kilowatt decide to play a game of rock, paper, scissors, which Trips loses... But now he wants a best out of three! Player One remains in his fighting stance, confused a bit as now... Trips wins! They have to play one more time! Quickly.... Trips is the one who wins, forcing Reddy to be the legal man, who wastes no time and charges right at Player One! Player One ducks the lariat attempt, but Reddy doesn't mind, delivering the lariat shot instead to Player Two, sending the DERP rookie flying into the guardrail! Reddy smiles, as the crowd boos... and then cheers as Player One spins Reddy, going for a right hand... BUT REDDY JUST CATCHES PLAYER ONE'S FIST! Kick to the gut... another one! And then he just clubs him with his arm! Reddy backs Player One into the center of the ring, just torqueing Player One's arm.... and then quickly pulls him towards him, dropping him with a single arm DDT! Reddy flips him over, going for the cover... 1... SHOULDER UP! Fans cheer, knowing there's no way the Nerd Power Collective is going to get put away this easy! Reddy peels Player One off the mat, and drags him towards the Merry Pranksters corner, where Captain Trips has the boot extended thru the ropes... and Kilowatt slams Player One's head right off it, as he tags in the Captain, who quickly drops a knee right to Player One's skull. He then begins to stomp away on the nerd, forcing Player One to crawl into the Merry Pranksters corner. Captain pulls Player One up by the mask, and give him a few straight right hands before backing up across the ring... he then runs forward... HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW FROM THE 250 POUND CAPTAIN TRIPS!!!! But he's not done, Player one stumbles forward out of the corner, as Trips now kicks him the gut, and hooks him... SWINGING CRADLE SUPLEX!!! And he hooks the leg! 1.... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPE!!! [THAT WAS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT FACE POP!] Trips just stares daggers at the ref, and without breaking his focus, calls to Reddy to get him some toys. Reddy doesn't even blink, and acts instantly, hopping off the apron and digging under the ring. By now Player Two has made it the ringside area, and is now fearing the worst for his compadre... he runs down he apron, and gets to the top rope... he leaps, going for a cross body on Reddy who doesn't even seem him........ BUT KILOWATT MOVES!!!! He slides a table and a trash can into the ring, as Player Two lands with a thud only a foot behind, causing Reddy to damn near jump out of his skin! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! Reddy just shakes his head, as Player Two curls up into a fetus position on the floor. In the ring, Trips has got himself the trash can and is ruining its cylinder shape pretty quick with Player One's skull! But the nerd just won't go down! A FOURTH CAN SHOT AND HE'S STILL STANDING!!! Trips is frustrated as he slams the can over Player One's torso... AND GIVES IT A STANDING DROPKICK!!! Player One goes flying into the corner, and lands with a thud! Trips charges the downed opponent, and jumps... DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO THE CAN!!! Trips grabs Player One by the legs and pulls him out of the corner... somehow the can slides off on the short drag, as Trips drops down for the cover! 1... 2...... KICK OUT!!! [HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT FACE POP!] Trips just shakes his head in disbelief, and pulls Player One up from the mat. he goes to whip player one into the corner... and does so with authority! BUT SO MUCH AUTHORITY, PLAYER ONE STUMBLES!!! He flails his arms and tags in Reddy Kilowatt!?!?!?! The ref says its a legal tag and orders Reddy into the ring! Reddy protests at first, but Captain shouts to him, "DON'T WORRY!".... as he tags in Taelor Cole!!!!!! The fans roar with delight, as WAD was basically napping on the apron, and caught totally off guard by the tag!!! The ref now orders Taelor into the ring, as Reddy approaches... AND JUST HIP TOSSES TAELOR INTO THE RING!!! Taelor gets up and charges at Reddy! Kilowatt gives him another hip toss! Taelor gets back up again, and charges... Reddy catches him with a scoop slam! Taelor cries out in pain, as Reddy quickly gets to the apron.... SLINGSLOT LEGDROP!! But he's not down.. Again he goes to the ropes... hopes to the middle rope.... SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT... THE KILOSAULT!!!! Now he hooks the leg! 1... SAVE BY LESLIE JACKSON!!! BUT HE PAYS WITH A BIG BOOT FROM THE CAPTAIN!!! Captain's not done, ignoring the ref's call to get out of the ring. He spots the Nerd Power Collective along the guardrail, and instantly grabs Jackson into the powerbomb position... he charges the ropes... AND POWERBOMBS JACKON OUT THE RING!! He tries to make sure Jackson lands on the nerds, but they dive out of the way for dear life! Jackson just slams into the guardrail, smacking the crap out of his skull! NPC's eyes are wide with fear, as Captain just lets the cheers reign in as the DERP arena goes nuts... DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! DERP! Meanwhile, Reddy has gotten the table leaning against the turnbuckles, with Taelor wobbly on his feet near by. He calls out to the Captain, who moves over just smiling ear to ear. Before anyone knows it, Kilowatt executes a spinning leg sweep to the back of the opponent's legs, and Captain trips executes a spinning heel-kick... MERRY GO ROUND BROKE DOWN!!! Taelor goes flying into the table in the corner, as the arena again explodes, totally enjoying the handiwork of the Merry Pranksters! And instead of going for the pin, the Merry Pranksters roll out of the ring!?!? Reddy goes looking underneath the ring, and slides another couple tables into the ring, before going to join his brother on the other side of the ring... where Captain Trips is yakking at the Nerd Power Collective, and pointing into the ring?!?! It looks like the Captain is trying to make some sort of deal with the nerds?!?? Reddy comes up behind the nerds and mimics the same motions! NPC still doesn't seem trusting, as the Captain and Reddy seem to give up adn roll into the ring! They continue to motion the nerds to join them in the ring, as they proceed to set up... A DOUBLE STACK OF TABLES IN THE RING, NEAR THE ONE CORNER!!! The crowd lets the Pranksters know they certainly approve, as they pull Taelor Cole to his feet and whip him into the corner closet to the tables. Captain exits the ring, walking along the apron and climbs to the to rope. Reddy stays in the ring, and helps Captain pull Cole into... A SUPERBOMB POSITION!!! AND HE DOESN'T HESITATE AT ALL!!!!!! SUPERBOMB THRU TWO TABLES!!!! The crowd just cannot contain itself! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! HOLE-LEE SHIT! But the Pranksters aren't making the cover... they're calling out to the nerds one more time!!! They're call for them again to get into the ring! Player Two wants no part of it, and even tugs on Player One's arm has he goes to enter the ring!!! P1 comforts P2, and rolls right into the ring. He immediately gets into his fighting stance, as the Pranksters just laugh. Reddy pulls Taelor Cole to his feet, and hold his arms behind his back, as Captain calls out to Player one "don't you want a one up!?!?!" And its like the light bulb goes off inside Player One's head... He runs to the rope, and comes charging back.. Reddy has Cole right there, just ready for it... and Player One goes for the Yakuzi kick to Cole's chest........ BUT HIS AIM'S OFF!!! He catches Reddy right in the face, who drops Cole! Captain looks enraged, as he grabs Player One by the arm... PUMPHANDLE SLAM!!! THE TRIPS DRIVER!!! And he does it so Player One lands on the fallen Cole! The crowd's already raving mad, as Reddy gets himself to the top rope....... FROG SPLASH ON BOTH MEN!!!! Captain tops the dog pile off, as the ref makes the count! 1... 2...... 3!!!!!! [OH HOLE-LEE FUCK YES FACE POP!] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Nerd Power Collective/ | | Merry Pranksters | | | | FINISH: Dog pile pin attempt | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* The entire arena just ERUPTS! The volume level was just insane, as the Pranksters got to their, feet pulling the Nerd Power Collective up with them. All four men raise their hands in the air, and embrace as the fans go from cheering for their victory to chanting goodbye to the Weapons of Ass Destruction! As if on cue, the midgets being their swarm out of the back... foam axes in hand!?!? The hit the ring... and begin to give WAD the axe... literally!!! The two now jobless men quickly scurry from the ring, with the midgets chasing them! At the top of the rampway, Delaney stands. lighter in hand... TORCHING THEIR CONTRACTS!!!! The entire DERP Arena is just enthralled and overly excited! WAD doesn't even make eye contact with Delaney, as the midgets continue their chase! And then, before the arena can even settle down... "You should know..." Crowd: "I’m REGISTERED in PENNSYVANIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" [The audience cheer their heads off as "Trust" by Prince pumps over the PA system. As the music builds, Frank Wilkes jumps up on a chair in the middle of the packed house, he’s so close they could pull him apart. Think of the souvenirs!] Frank Wilkes: It’s time for a little READING AND RASSLING... so who wants to hear a story?! Everyone: WE DO!!! Frank Wilkes: Then come on kids! [The RegiSTARed One starts to walk through the enthusiastic crowd, being followed by children as he goes. Who actually takes their kids to a DERP show? ...They have barbeques... it feels like family fun. There are a ridiculous number of boys and girls following after Frank as he makes his rounds. A few of the kids are quite nervous, but there star struck parents are quick to encourage them to join it. By the end of it, Frank Wilkes has a good 20 children following him... he starts to make his way down to the ring... ...then quickly turns and runs out a fire exit with the kids.] [...] XYZ : Ha. That Frank. What a cut-up. [Everyone laughs at Frank’s dark sense of humor.] XYZ: ... [Still laughing...] XYZ: ... [Okay, the laughter starts to come to an end as the fear sets in.] XYZ: ...I don’t think he’s coming back. [Suddenly the door swings open... everyone in the arena breathing a sigh of relief, which is quickly replaced by dread as Foodstamp enters.] Foodstamp : ...what? [As if Delaney understands the need to take a little break to figure out what the hell just happened and what Frank Wilkes is up too, the DERP projector fires up and begins to broadcast away...] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* [The camera opens up on... the DERP janitor mopping!?!? That's... odd. The average sized man, in blue coveralls, and a backwards Pirates cap doesn't' even seem to notice the camera. He just keeps mopping back and forth in what seems to be the 'dining nook' of the DERP backstage area. Just mopping back and forth, back and forth, making it all nice and clean, the camera turns it focus down a bit, looking at the floor being mopped...... and then right as a pair of boots appear in the frame... the janitor mops right on over them! The camera instantly zooms out revealing..... BULLZEYE, starring daggers at the janitor.] BULLZEYE: Does it look like I needed mopped? [Right up in the janitors face...] BULLZEYE: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M PART OF THE FLOOR!?!? [The janitor seems to shrink in his shoes, and one wouldn't be surprised if a little urine trickled down his legs.... CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAACKKKKK! Out of no where.... BATEMAN comes out of no where swinging the singapore cane like a wild man! CRRRRRRAAAAAACKKKK! CRRRRRRAAAAAACKKKKK! CRRRRRAAAAAACKKKKKK! Bullzeye stumbles forward onto a table against the wall, where a coffee maker and its supplies are found.] JANITOR: Told you it would work! BATEMAN: Sorry for every doubting you! [Wha, wha WHAT!?!?! The janitor slides out of his coverall and removes a wig!?!? THAT'S FLETCHER!!! Bateman's manager!!! This was just a set up!!!!!!! Bateman moves over to where Bullzeye's slump, and goes to capitalize... but Bullzeye's having none of it!! MULE KICK BETWEEN THE LEGS! Elbow to the forehead... and Bullzeye grabs Bateman's head, and slams it off the table. Bateman falls to the floor, as Bullzeye turns his attention to Fletcher.] BULLZEYE: Think you are so smart... So crafty... I THINK YOUR SO DEAD!!! [Bullzeye stomps over to Fletcher, who desperately swings his mop at Bullzeye.... who just grabs it right out of his hand, and snaps it into two across his knee, throwing the remains to ground!] BULLZEYE: You foolish, foolish man! [Bullzeye reaches out and just grabs Fletcher right by his throat.... AS BATEMAN BRINGS A CHAIR DOWN ACROSS BULLZEYE'S BACK! Bullzeye lets go of Fletcher... as Bateman spins around..... EAR RINGER!!! Bateman turns the chair sideways, and connects right to Bullzeye's ear! The DERP 24/7 champion falls to the ground, as Bateman doesn't let up.] FLETCHER: Make him pay, Bateman! MAKE HIM PAY! [Bateman pulls Bullzeye to his feet... only to take him right back down with... THE CUTTERLOCK!!! NOO!!!! THUMB TO THE EYE!!!! COFFEE MAKER TO THE DOME!!! Bateman stumbles back, as Fletcher hops on Bullzeye's back... HE JUST GETS TOSSED OFF! Bullzeye turns back to Bateman.. HEEL KICK!!! Followed by another low blow... SCOOP SLAM PILEDRIVER!!! Bullzeye stands up, and stumbles back to the wall, as his attacks again lay before him. Bullzeye gives Bateman one more shot with the title belt before wondering off...] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* For the second time this week, Bateman tries to get his hands on Bullzeye's 24/7 Championship, and fails in his attempt! However, even if Bateman didn't get his hands on the gold, he still is making friends with Twinkletoes Twilliger! After attacking Bullzeye in the way he did, there's no way Bullzeye's going into the big stairway to hell title match tonight one hundred percent! As the crowd continues to chatter after Bullzeye's most recent title defense, the lights in the arena start to flicker as the beginning of "This Is The New Shit" by Marilyn Manson begins to play throughout the arena. A man walks out from the back wearing a black suit and a black shirt with a white tie. He has a thick beard and thick glasses. Obviously, this is Johnny Windham. Next, wearing a tight black leather mini-skirt, a skin tight white shirt that says "Your Dream Come True" on the front in black lettering, and black go-go boots, Heather Black walks out from behind the curtain. Her shoulder length dark red hair is tied back and her outfit definitely shows off her figure. Finally, out from behind the curtain, is the man everyone came to see, Joshua Black. Joshua is wearing his usual black tights that stop mid-thigh, with yellow trim at the waist and mid-thigh, and a black T-shirt with words "Flawless Victory" written on the front in yellow lettering. Don't forget, the GNAW Heavyweight title strapped around his waist. Black stands at the entranceway between Johnny and Heather, looks around the crowd smiling, and starts heading to the ring. They get there, taking their sweet ass time as the grand sounds of O Fortuna by Carl Orff fill the arena as Ric Beauty steps out from behind the curtain. He surveys the crowd for a moment and soaks in their reaction, he then walks to the ring, smirking his way down the aisle.] *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | OLE FASHIONED SLOBBERKNOCKER | | | | RIC BEAUTY | | vs | | JOSHUA BLACK | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Without hesitating or showboating, the two men lock up, and begin to vie for control. The push each other back and forth a bit, before Black drops his arms, and kicks Beauty in the gut! Black goes for another one, but Beauty grabs his leg and takes him down with a leg sweep! Black gets back up, as Beauty charges in. Black quickly dives out of the way and rolls out of the ring, as Beauty tried to grip him up! The fans aren't pleased at all, as Black stalks the outside, Heather coming to comfort him. Beauty just shakes his head and rolls right out of the ring, and grabs a steel chair! He goes right after Black, who takes off around the corner of the ring... and rolls right into the ring! Beauty slides in, chair in hand... and catches a quick boot from Black for his efforts, who rips the chair out of Beauty's hand... and tosses it out of the ring! Beauty keeps rising to his feet, and Black keeps laying on the rights and lefts. He helps Ric the rest of the way to his feet, and whips him across the ring into the ropes. Beauty comes back, Black grabs him up, spins around... HUUUUGE SPINEBUSTER!!! Black hooks the leg... 1... SHOULDER UP! Black wastes no time, getting to his feet and laying boots right into Beauty's abdomen! One right after another... until Beauty grabs Black's leg and twists, forcing Black off balance to the mat, as Beauty is trying to snap Black's ankle! Josh using his free leg, and kicks Beauty off... Both men get to their feet, but Beauty charges... CLOTHESLINE!!! Black bounces back up, ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE! Black gets up again! A THIRD CLOTHESLINE! And Beauty follows it up with a standing leg drop! Black rolls over to his stomach, clutching his throat, as "the 24 Hour Man" pulls him to his feet, hooking him for a suplex! And Beauty gets him high into the air... AND HOLDS HIM THERE!!! Beauty even takes a few steps around the ring, just letting the blood flow the wrong way in Black's body... and then he drops him with a thunderous suplex! Beauty stays on the attack... locking on a REAR NAKED CHOKE!!!!! And Beauty rolls Black over with a body scissors!!! The drive to win is so apparent, as Beauty is just trying to choke Black out! Black is doing all he can! He knows he doesn't have much time before he's out cold! He's clawing at Beauty, scratching, doing whatever he can... AND HE GETS A FISH HOOK ON BEAUTY!!! Black is just ripping at Beauty's jaw, as Beauty is trying to choke Black out!!! Who is going to win this game of chicken!?!? Beauty cinches up his arms and legs, really putting the squeeze on Black, who pulls as hard as he can with the fish hook and is still using his free hand to claw away at Beauty's face..... AND IT WORKS!!! Beauty has to let go, as Black lets go too....... only to roll himself out of the ring again! Black just starts sucking in deep breathes, as he stumble around ringside, leaning on the guardrail when he needs too. Beauty doesn't waste anytime, and gets himself outside the ring as well! He doesn't bother for a chair this time, he just charges at Joshua.... RUNNING FOREARM SHOT! "the 24 Hour Man" connects right with Black's forehead, before he backs up... shoulder charge! Another shoulder charge! And one more! Ric then hooks Black... SUPLEX RIGHT ON THE GUARDRAIL! The fans are quite pleased!!! RIC'S AN OLD FUCK! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP RIC'S AN OLD FUCK! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP RIC'S AN OLD FUCK! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP RIC'S AN OLD FUCK! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP RIC'S AN OLD FUCK! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP Ric smiles at the fan's support, as he graciously takes a muffin pan from a fan in a lucha libre mask at ringside! He first gives Black a big boot... and then swings the pan... CRRRAAACKKKK! He bends it right over the head of Black! Beauty turns around, and spots the steel steps... He grabs Black, and whips him into the steps... NO!!! Joshua reverses!!! Ric slams into the steps, as Black now charges in for a splash... NO!!! Ric ducks the shoulder, back body drop on Black.. flinging him up and onto the steel ring steps!!! Joshua flops to the ground, as Beauty rests against the ring steps, fans encouraging him all the while! As Beauty gets to his feet, and approaches Black, he gives him a nasty headbutt, sending Black stumbling around ringside! Beauty grabs him by the neck, adn calls for a fan to hold up a chair... Beauty slams Joshua face first into the fan's chair, nearly knocking the fan off his feet! Sensing he's got Black reeling, Beauty rolls him into the ring and quickly follows. Black lays on his back, sucking wind, probably seeing stars, as Beauty hops to the second turnbuckle... FIST DROP!!! and Beauty quickly makes the cover!!! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES.... ...AND IT WAS HEATHER THAT PUT IT THERE!!!! [THAT FUCKING BITCH HEEL POP!] Ric immediately hops to his feet, and charges towards the ropes nearest Heather, who is doing her best innocent look. "the 24 Hour Man" isn't buying it, telling Heather she better watch it if she doesn't wanna find our why Ric's the "24 Hour man!" BUT BLACK CAPITALIZES!!!! He rolls Beauty right up... 1... 2...... KICKOUT!!! The fans roar with approval, as both men quickly get to their feet! Black goes for a nasty chop, and Beauty just takes it... and begs for another! Black obliges and gives Beauty another chop! Beauty just lets out a primal scream... and damn near takes Black's head off with a clothesline from hell! Wasting no time, Beauty now elects to go to the... TOP ROPE!!!! He points to the sky, and then everyone in the arena before leaping..... TOP ROPE LEGDROP!!! THE BEAUTY BOMB!!! The cheers even louder, counting right along with the referee! 1... 2...... [SOMEONE GET THAT BITCH HEEL POP!] NOW HEATHER PULLS THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!!!! And now Beauty's just had it! He looks extremely enraged, as he immediately rolls out of the ring, and goes to confront Heather!!! Heather immediately begins back pedaling, asking for forgiveness, as the ref shouts things at Ric, which he just ignores... His eyes are just set on Heather! He chases her about half way around the ring.... AND THEN THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!! But not for Ric Beauty, oh no... There's someone else making their presence known during this match. The loud ovation from the crowd is for... ...the "RegiSTARRed One" FRANK WILKES!!! Frank hops the guardrail and makes a bee line for the GNAW Heavyweight title laying in the corner! Somehow Heather catches him out of the corner of her eye, and turns and runs for the belt as well... getting it before Wilkes does!!! BUT NOW HEATHER IS TRAPPED IN BETWEEN FRANK WILKES AND RIC BEAUTY!!! Talk about being between a rock and a hard place, Heather doesn't know what to do as both men close in.... [ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HEEL POP!] Out of nowhere, Joshua Black climbed up the turnbuckles and leaped for all his might... taking both Beauty and Wilkes down with a double bulldog! Heather saw him coming and dove over the guardrail just in time! All three men are just laid out, as Black landed quite hard on the cement as well, with his legs crashing right into the guardrail! Heather gets to her feet, pale as a ghost, grabs the GNAW title and makes a bee line to the back! THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP THAT WAS AWESOME! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,CLAP,CLAP But the fans cheering is cut short... as now... IKUTO NAGASHIMA IS MAKING HIS WAY DOWN TO THE RING!!! He approaches all three men as they lay on the outside floor.... and begins to kick all three of them!!! After the hellacious stomps, "the Tokyo Bad Boy" first rolls Black into the ring, and then pulls Wilkes to his feet..... only to whip him into the guardrail!!! Next he pulls Beauty to his feet..... AND WHIPS HIM RIGHT AT WILKES!!! The two crash into each other, and fall to the floor! The fans are not happy at all, and make sure to let Ikuto hear it! He approaches the downed men, and rolls Beauty into the ring, before sliding in himself. Black is somewhat to his feet, as company joins him in the ring. Ikuto gives Beauty a few boots before pulling him upwards, only to whip him into the ropes... FLYING LEG LARIAT BY IKUTO! Beauty hits the mat, as Black moves his direction... LEGDROP!!! Black hooks the leg, as the fans continue to boo! 1... 2...... KICK OUT!!!! The fans roar loudly, as Beauty breaks up the pin attempt and stays alive! Ikuto and Black begin to hash a few things out, as Black goes to pull Beauty up from the mat, as Ikuto charges the ropes...... CRRRRRRAAAACKKKK! WILKES CATCHES HIM WITH A SINGAPORE CANE FROM RINGSIDE!!! Wilkes rolls into the ring, cane in hand! CRRRRRRAAAAACKKKKK! Another shot drops Nagashima and sends him to the outside!!! Black leaves Beauty and charges at Wilkes..... CRRRRRRRAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!! Cane shot for him!!! Beauty gets him from behind..... BACKSLIDE PIN ATTEMPT!!! 1... 2...... KICK OUT!!!! Black rolls off and gets back to his feet.. CLOTHESLINED BY BEAUTY TO THE MAT! Both men are down, as Wilkes looks around, trying to see if his GNAW title is still around.... but notices Heather is no longer at ringside! Frank instantly looks enraged and rolls to the outside, finding Ikuto.... CRRRRRAAACKKK!! CRRRRRAAACKKK!! CRRRRRAAACKKK!!CRRRRRAAACKKK!! CRRRRRAAACKKK!! Five quick shots with that cane! And there probably would have been more had the cane not snapped in two! Ikuto is slumped, bloody, on the guardrail, as Frank celebrates with fans at ringside, chugging as much beer as he can in thirty seconds! Back in the ring, Beauty has gotten himself back to his feet, as Black has made it to his knees. Beauty helps him the rest of the way, just gripping him up from behind.... and he moves into the corner, only to slam Black's face right into the turnbuckle!! And he does it again! One more time before good luck... before he cinches him up for a... REVERSE DDT!!!!! Beauty again hooks the leg! 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP!!!! Beauty just cannot believe it. He shakes his head and rises to his feet, as Wilkes charges Nagashima.... NAGASHIMA DUCKS THE SHOULDER AND SENDS WILKES FLYING INTO THE CROWD!!! Beauty goes to pull Black to his feet.... LOW BLOW!!! LOW BLOW!! Uppercut to the family jewels by Black! That kills Beauty's momentum, as Black gets up and locks on a waist lock.... BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! But Black doesn't let go, he rolls Beauty over... ANOHER BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! And he's still not done, still holding on, and again rolling Beauty over... A THIRD BELLY TO BELLY!!! Black screams "GREATNESS, BITCH!!!, going for the pin... 1.... 2... KICK OUT!!!!! Black is livid! He cannot believe it! He gets right up in this referee's face! The ref, Paul Barker, backs up slowly trying hard not to swing, but Joshua is just laying into Paul with insult after insult!!! Half the crowd is jeering, as Wilkes and Nagashima continue their brawl around the DERP Arena. The other half though is booing, not pleased at all with Black but quickly changes their tune as Beauty gets up wobbly and catches Joshua with a school boy roll up..... NOOOO!!!! BLACK ROLLS THROUGH! HES GOT BEAUTY ROLLED UP!!! And those tights pulled like a motherfucker!!! 1... 2...... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: Joshua Black | | | | FINISH: Rolled thru school boy into | | pin attempt of his own | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Both Beauty and Black lean against the ropes, winded and staring daggers at each other. Beauty's the first to leave the ring, anger visible on his face. He doesn't even bother to slap any high fives or even acknowledge his fans. Black's heads on a swivel, trying to make sure the coast in clear before he leaves. He spots the commotion in the crowd, realizes that Nagashima and Wilkes trading blows in the crowd, and quickly exits the ring quickly as possible. Soon as he does, the ref Barker looks around, and signals for the bell to ring!?!? I guess he's officially starting Wilkes/Nagashima, who are busy trading lefts and rights right near the concession stand! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | ALREADY IN PROGRESS!?!?!?! | | | | "RSO" FRANK WILKES | | vs | | "TBB" IKUTO NAGASHIMA | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Ikuto has Frank reeling, as someone's order of fries come up! Nagashima instantly snags the fries, and slaps Wilkes right in the face with them! Fries go every where, as Wilkes stumbles backwards. The fan is highly irate, but shuts up instantly when Ikuto grips him up! As payment for mouthing off, Ikuto also steals the man's beer, and goes after Frank... NOOO! Kick to the gut by Wilkes... AND HE STEALS THE BEER...... AND CHUUGGGSSSS IT!!!! Ikuto just shakes his head, and goes for a clothesline.... Wilkes ducks! Ikuto turns around! SUPERKICK!!! SUPPERKICK FROM WILKES!!!! Ikuto flies into the wall, as Frank asks for another beer.... CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! The fans roar as Wilkes polishes off the beer, and wins... a fly swatter!?!?! Wilkes looks confused, but fan with the handlebar mustache points out the pieces of glass glued to it!!! Frank nods appreciatively, and pats the man on the back, before going over to Ikuto, who's slowly risen to his feet, still groggy from the last two hits: Wilkes foot hitting his chin, and his head hitting the wall. Wilkes winds up.. SMMMMMAAAACKKKK!!! Ikuto takes it, but doesn't seem to really mind! Wilkes shakes his head, and changes his swing, going more downward now... SMMMMMAAAAAACKKKKK! Ikuto felt that one! His cheek instantly ripped open! SMMMMMAAAAAACKKKKKK! Evening things out Frank is, catching Ikuto on the other side of the face! SMMMM---NO!!! IKUTO GRABS WILKES HAND!!! He's trying to get the fly swatter for himself!!!! HEADBUTT BY WILKES!!! And nother!!! IKuto lets goo... SMMMAAAACKKKKKKK!!!! Wilkes catches him with another glass shard flyswatter shot, before grabbing Ikuto by the hand... and whipping him into the crowd!!!! Ikuto pretty much runs until he trips over the fold up chairs and falls flat on his face! The crowd roars, as the "RegiSTARRed One" raises his hand in the air, approaching the "Tokyo Bad Boy!" Wilkes reaches his prey... AND TAKES A KICK TO THE KNEE FOR HIS EFFORTS!!! But Wilkes doesn't seem all that deterred.... BUT NOW IKTUO WHIPS A CHAIR!!! Wilkes felt that one, as he smacks right off his dome, stopping him right in his tracks! Ikuto gets to his feet, chair in hand..... SMMMAAACKKKK!!! He brings it down RIGHT over Wilkes' head! In fact, the chair opens and now the chair's hanging on Wilkes, who's barely standing! Ikuto grabs the leg of the chair... AND DRAGS WILKES TOWARDS THE RING!!! Ikuto weeds his way through the crowd, with the help of DERP security, and gets himself right near the guardrail. He makes sure to give the chair around Wilkes' head a few palm thrusts for good measure, but he leaps to the top of the guardrail... SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK!!!!!! Wilkes goes flying, damn near decaptitated by the chair!!! Ikuto hits the crowd hard, as the fans roar, so very pleased by that display of violence! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! D-E-R-P! Ikuto has to use the guardrail to pull himself up, as he quickly moves over to Wilkes, who has been split open and seemed to be out cold. Ikuto pays no mind, and hip tosses Frank over the guardrail. He himself hops over, before going hunting underneath the ring... finding himself Frank's favorite thing: TABLES!!! Ikuto slides a couple into the ring, before going and pulling Wilkes to his feet. Ikuto gives the "RegiSTARRed One" some more palm thrusts, before rolling him into the ring, quickly rolling himself next. First things first, Ikuto pulls Wilkes to his feet, and turns him around... locking on a inverted double underhook!?!?! He pulls Frank over onto one of the tables laying on the mat..... AND DROPS HIM WITH A FACEBUSTER!!! He calls that the MAKE OVER!!! Nagashima could win this match right, now but he chooses to grab the other table, setting it up near the one corner, as half the audience is pissed their hero's losing, and half the audience is thrilled for some TABLE ACTION!!!!!! With the table set up close the corner, Ikuto peels Wilkes off the mat, and hip tosses him onto the table!!! Quickly, Ikuto gets himself into the corner, both arms on the top ropes. He takes a few seconds to jaw at the crowd, specially the 'cowboy hat guy' who's yelling pretty racist things that I cannot bear to repeat, even with the freedom DERP allows me. And then, with a smile from ear to ear, he pulls slingshot himself up.... SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!!! And the "Tokyo Bad Boy" sends Wilkes crashing through the table!!! The crowd doesn't know whether to boo or cheer, and ends up pretty divided, as Ikuto now decides to go for the cover... 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP!!!!! [YES!!!! WE GET TO SEE MORE CARNAGE POP!!!!] The fans might have been divided a few seconds ago, but they roar thunderously, very pleased this match isn't over just yet! "the Tokyo Bad Boy" pulls himself to his feet and wastes no time, going to set up the other table... only issue with this his execution of the "Make Over" the table is now damaged goods, forcing Ikuto to lean the table in the corner against the turnbuckles. He again pulls Wilkes to his feet, and goes behind... he locks on a full nelson! Frank grimaces in pain, as Ikuto locks his hand and pulls Frank towards the corner. The fans excitement grows the closer Ikuto gets to the table, as Nagashima lifts Frank up..... DRAGON SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE!!!! The crowd just explodes!!! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! HARD FUCKING CORE! IKuto gets to his knees, rolls Frank over in all the table rubble, and again goes for the pin... 1... 2...... FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!!!! [HOW THE FUCK IS HE STILL MOVING POP!] Nagashima didn't hook the leg and he's regretting it now, as Wilkes instinctly stuck that foot out, just praying he was close enough to the ropes. Nagashima gets to his feet, and leans back on the ropes, eyes wide open and unsure of what the hell to do to keep the "RegiSTARRed One" down! Deciding he better not waste any time, Ikuto walks over to Frank, who's barely conscious it seems. Ikuto pulls the man to his feet, and shoves him into the corner. He grabs a big chunk of the table, and takes a few steps back... and charges at Wilkes!!! BUT WILKES GETS A BOOT UP SOMEHOW!!!! He kicks Ikuto straight in the face! Ikuto stumbles backwards, caught completely off guard as the table chunk breaks over his own head! But luckily for him, Wilkes is unable to capitalize, choosing instead to spend the time resting in the corner! Wilkes, rested as much as he can, sees his opportunity and charges Nagashima... clothesline sends "the Tokyo Bad Boy" to the mat, but only briefly as he quickly gets to his feet. Wilkes stays on the offensive, thrust kick to the gut, DOUBLE ARM DDT!!!!! Wilkes rolls him over for the cover... 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP!!! Nagashima gets the shoulder up! Wilkes seems almost out of it, bleeding all over it. He rolls out of the ring, and goes hunting.... with the fans! He gets a badminton racket... a pint glass that he's gotta empty first... and his last find is a wooden sword from the Renaissance Festival ... and its wrapped in barbwire!!! And wait a second ... THATS RIC BEAUTY WHO HANDED WILKES THAT SWORD! !!!!!! The two DERP fan favorites shake hands, before Wilkes rolls into the ring with his new found treasures! Wilkes took his time on the outside, allowing Nagashima to get to his feet with aid of the ropes. Ikuto charges .... racket shot to the gut! And then frank breaks it over Ikuto head!!! Ikuto stumbles into the ropes. He catches himself on the ropes, and immediately charges back at Frank ..... CRRRRRRAAAAAASSSSSH!!!! Wilkes smashes the glass right over Ikuto's head!!! The "Tokyo Bad Boy" drops to the mat!!! Wilkes goes for the pin.. 1... 2...... SHOULDER UP! Wilkes can't believe it. The fans can't believe it... but Wilkes doesn't let it affect him! He gets up and grabs that sword! He began's to stop his feet and wave on the crowd, encouraging them to get as loud as humanly possible!!! Nagashima stirs, but slowly!!! Wilkes helps him up the last few feet, backs up... CRRRRAAACKKKKKKK!!!!!! Wilkes connects with Ikuto's shoulder! Blood flows as he pulls the sword away!!! Wilkes goes for another shot.... BUT IKUTO GRABS THE SWORD!!! He pulls Wilkes towards him... RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP WITH THE SWORD!!! Ikuto gets to his feet, stumbles against eh rope with the sword still in hand, and runs at Wilkes whose flat on the mat... CRRRAAACKKKKKKKKKK! Ikuto breaks the sword into two right over Wilkes skulls before hooking the leg for the cover!!! 1... 2...... 3!!!!!!! SHOUDLER UP!??!?!?! Wilkes gets the shoulder up seconds too late, but perhaps it's better this way!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: "TBB" Ikuto Nagashima | | | | FINISH: Barbwire wooden sword | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* Wilkes is a bloody mess. Ikuto is a bloody mess. This two men just put it on the line, and took the battle all over the DERP Arena. That is why both men are certainly top contenders for the DERP Steel City Championship! Wilkes gets to his feet, and tries to extend his hand to Nagashima before he exits the ring. Ikuto just laughs, and exits totally blowing off Frank! The crowd is not pleased at all, and begins to pelt Nagashima with everything they can before he gets out of their line of sight! As Frank slowly carries himself to the back, the DERP projectors fire up, entertaining the fans while the DERP ring crew cleans up the mess left in the ring... *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* (Scene: The DERP interview room. In front of a generic backdrop with the DERP logo stands the man known as Foodstamp. Next to him stands the the DERP Steel City Champion, and self proclaimed ¨ King of the Cruiser weights¨ Twinkletoes Tiwilliger. Next to Twinkletoes stands the elderly Asian Elvis Impersonator known as Elbitz, and the women of questionable style and moral character, the Twinkettes) Foodstamp (FS):Hey yo fans of the Derpness, its me your favourite interview type guy, Foodstamp. At this time, the ´Stamper has the ,um, privilege of having the first interview with our current Steel City Champion, Twinkletoes Tiwilliger. So Twinkie, i´d you about what you think of winning the title in the battle royal, but people are more curious about the fallout from your victory celebration in middle of Lawrenceville. Apparently you and your crew have been charged with driving without a licence, obstruction of traffic, drug possession, public intoxication, nudity and solicitation of sex. Now for me that’s just another Saturday night, but I heard that aint going down well with Delaney who had to shell out a few clams to bail you guys out. Do you have anything to say on the matter, and do you think this will hurt the reputation of you and DERP, assuming that´s possible? Twinkletoes Tiwilliger (TT): First off I would like to thank Mr. Delaney for helping us out of that embarrassing situation. Second I can describe for you my feeling on the charges laid against us, the incarceration, and the effect of all of that on our reputations in one word, conspiracy! (FS): Conspiracy? Are you guys still high? (TT): If you mean still high on our come from behind victory to win the title draped over my shoulder then yes. That is the only high that can be associated with Twinkettes Tiwilliger and the people associated with him. We are the victims of a carefully planned smear campaign to humiliate us and make us look bad in front of all our fans. I am here to tell those people who to alienate us from our fans that will not happen. (FS): Well that’s true enough, you can´t be embarrassed in front of your fans if you don´t have any to begin with. (TT): Thats a lie, a bald face lie and you know it, or do you? Have you been brainwashed from all the propaganda that the conspirators have put out? (FS): So, by propaganda, do you mean the video footage of your girls here drinking smoking up and flashing everyone while in the middle of traffic? (TT): Precisely, that video was doctored! Me , Elbitz and my Twinkettes would never engage in that type of behavior, as we are paragons of clean living. Just ask the girls. (one of the Twinkettes, the red haired one, approaches Foodstamp and rubs her hand along his inner thigh before looking into the camera) Red Haired Twinkette: Suntem crackwhores din Republica Moldova. Pentru pretul corect, vom face nimic pentru a va rugam. Ei bine, nu barbati si femei si animalele domestice, daca ai suficienti bani si droguri. Noi vom veni la dumneavoastra acasa camera de hotel, sau înapoi alee gunoi. nu poo poo sucky sucky (winks at Foodstamp) (Foodstamp stares at the red head with his mouth wide open, before collecting himself): Um, yeah propaganda. Ok if that was propaganda, what about all the charges against you, the sworn affidavits from dozens of witnesses and the mug shots of you and the rest of the paragons of clean living as you put it? (TT): The conspirators are nothing if not thorough in their attempts to malign me. But it won´t work. The more they plot to discredit me due to their petty jealousy, the more my fans love me. The fans know that i have what the rest of the locker room lacks, talent. That, mixed with unmatched athleticism, stunning good looks, and charisma beyond compare, makes me the favourite of wrestling fans everywhere, and the target of all the wrestlers who can´t match up with me. I have no doubt this plot was hatched by my competitors, especially the two no talent fat slobs i face for this title tonight. Those guys are so out of shape they break a sweat putting their wrestling boots on. I feel embarrassed for them that would still go out to the ring after letting themselves go like that. But i put those feelings aside to put on the best match i can in spite of the level of competitors i have to work with. And tonight will be no exception, that fans will go home totally satisfied, when they see me, the greatest show above the earth, the ultimate underdog, The King of The Cruiserweights and pound for pound the greatest wrestler in the world today, runs circles around those slobs and pulls out yet another upset win. TWINKIE POWER!!!! (With that , Twinkletoes walks out of the shot accompanied by Elbitz and the Twinkettes save for the red hed, who Foodstamp has taken aside to talk to. No doubt he is asking her about her commitment to clean living) *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* And with that, here comes the main event: A Stairway to Hell three way dance, first pin wins but you can't make pin until the weapon above the ring has been retrieved! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | MAIN EVENT | | STAIRWAY TO HELL | | DERP STEEL CITY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH | | | | "KOTC" TWINKLETOES TWILLIGER (C) | | vs | | "ALL ACTION" DENNY LATIMER | | vs | | BULLZEYE | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* And here's the part that SUCKS about the DERP format.... ...yins won't see this match til Saturday on the... ...VERY FIRST EPISODE EXTREME TV! DON'T MISS THE FUN!!! *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* | | | WINNER: | | | | FINISH: | | | *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ DERP ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ______________________________________________________ THOUGHTS? REACTIONS? SPEAK YOUR MIND RIGHT HERE: http://z13.invisionfree.com/DERP_Forum/index.php?showforum=4 *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* ON THE SCREENZ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^* *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^* SCREENS RETURN TO DERP LOGO *^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^*